So, I have been a little (read: very) inconsistent over the last few months. Realistically since returning to work in July I have struggled more and more. That has led to a lack of blogging, streaming and a lack of care for myself. However, things are changing and looking up so let’s open up and check in.
I have been trying to get myself back to a better place, even if just making tiny tip-toeing steps towards that. I think, fingers crossed, I am moving in the right direction again slowly. It’s hard and I’m trying not to put too much emphasis on the little steps for now, but I think they are there.
Part of this was during the first lockdown of 2020 I saw improvements excluding times I was contacted by work. Then we returned and those steps forward turned into massive falls backwards. Thanks to many friends in this community (and Mr GD of course) for helping me, listening to me or reading what has gone on. I love you all. You are superstars. Then during the further changing restrictions, the new lockdowns and such like I have seen ups and downs. I am trying.
I have been looking for a new job on and off throughout 2020. Turns out applying for jobs just before lockdown began in March was a terrible timing decision. Waiting a few months and then starting to apply to places again finally paid off. I have officially started a new job! Hopefully this prompts some more good things happening and will help with the mental health side. I now have a routine and jobs can have a set pattern. So goodbye retail (but still remember to be nice to retail workers).
Blogging and Streaming
Now, I love both. I have plans for both. However, that has been very inconsistent and I’ve withdrawn from sharing things and doing streams for a period towards the end of 2020. I want to get back to my plans and have been updating the blog and posting again (as you can hopefully tell!) so it is moving forward. I think I have had to accept that my limits for what they actually are and I really should work with them.
Plans for now are to get into a streaming pattern, a blogging pattern and then look at adding to it. Now with the job changes I have (shock horror) a regular work schedule and know what I’m doing in advance. Ah the perks of an office job! This will hopefully allow me to balance things and get into a routine once I get used to having a known schedule again.
This has started with the blog as I had prepared some of these posts whilst I was off over Christmas and setting up the posts has been great to make me see a routine here again. Streaming is starting off slowly and then I am trying to build on it but I’m hoping to get some fixes done in my less busy times.
I actually have bought a new planner for 2021. This is so I can get back on track and see things the way I want. Organisation and stationary can sometimes help, and perhaps even work for me. There is a very real possibility that this planner will last for a few months and then be abandoned or become a random jumble of notes and idea. I have hope for it at the moment though. I have also started trying to record three positives from my day. So far I’m finding this hard, most days at least one is something like had a cookie or organised something small but I hope this helps me remember what I have achieved.
So that is pretty much where things stand at the moment. I hope to get myself into a routine but I have got to focus on getting myself into a better place first and then try to add to the blog and streaming. Thank you for keeping with me and for all your support. Here’s to some more possibilities and better times.