Sometimes as a blogger/content creator (or whatever description you wish to apply to yourself) you need some extra confidence and you have to be happy with what you do. I haven’t managed to be like that recently, as you may have noticed since I haven’t posted since December and even then it was once.
This made me consider how I feel about my content and apparently I’m starting my blogging time for 2020 off by being rather philosophical about it. My blogging year has started with a bit of a stall, followed by a crawl and maybe a little splutter of words to the (web)page. However, this is not what I had in mind. Admittedly that didn’t account for a pinch of exhaustion, trying to flip my sleep pattern and a dash and a half of confidence loss.
Sadly going on to night shift in the months leading up to Christmas had downsides when it came to content as my ability to write was negatively affected. I was getting more sleep which was fantastic – honestly I was getting the best sleep I had had in years on night shift! – but I didn’t feel able to write on my days (nights?) off. I could do things overnight but writing was a struggle.
Then obviously Christmas and New Year arrived. Wonderful times of the year but I was exhausted by the time they came round. I was trying to switch my sleep pattern back and well I discovered several things. One, my sleep is so much better when I sleep during the day. Two, no matter if I have been asleep I would still wake up at 2am hungry (my nightshift lunchtime) and it takes a long time to get back to sleep when you are hungry and refuse to give in to the cravings. Three, it is nearly the end of January and I’m still not quite there with getting my sleep back to a normal pattern. Especially if the end of last week was anything to go by.
The not being able to create has resulted in a struggle when I do write now. It is the angel and the devil on the shoulders type scenario where one side says you love creating and keep going, whilst the other goes well no one cares and you are rubbish at it anyway so why even bother. If I could get them to keep quiet (maybe not the angel) then it would be rather helpful. However, they seem rather talkative.
At the time of writing this on the 23rd January it is my fourth post written this week. I have scheduled none of them. That doesn’t include the other posts written this month that I also haven’t scheduled. I feel inspired and have other ideas but my confidence stops me. (I realise the ever so slight issue of if I never post this then the whole point of the post is wasted and also it won’t matter how many posts I had written as no one would know but I am going to post this.)
Confidence is such a key thing for blogging. I can’t work out where my blogging confidence has gone. Has it just been because of my infrequent writing and trying to get back into a routine? Or is it something deeper? I don’t think I have the answers. Much like when you have the ideas for writing but can’t bring pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) in the “right” way it takes time.
The overall point of this is that I miss you all. I miss the discussion and I miss the excitement and joy I get when I finish a post, schedule it and see it posted. I miss writing regularly and reading posts within the blogosphere. I am trying to get back out of my comfort zone of hiding and putting myself back out there on here. I also have further plans for the blog and trying out new things like streaming or possibly videos or just something new to try for a bit of fun.
First things first, maybe I should just try to post something here. Maybe, one post at a time, I find my place and my confidence piece by piece.
Have you ever found yourself struggling with your blogging confidence? Did you find anything useful? Let me know in the comments.